Introductions

Hiyee! I'm Laura. I also go by my longstanding nickname, Lola. I answer to either. I'm so excited to launch Blue Sky Ballet, and I'm grateful for your support. Thank you! I wanted to tell y'all a bit about myself and my dance journey thus far.

At a recent, small, socially-distanced gathering.

I started ballet at age 3 at my local YMCA. I was lucky to study with some pretty amazing folks in my teen years (Icons like Violette Verdy.), but I credit two special dance teachers for instilling excellent technique and supporting my training - Anne Marie Brunner-Abderholden and Susan Marsden. I loved dancing with Madison's local company, Wisconsin Dance Ensemble, which gave me the opportunity to perform regionally. I was also a scholarship student at Milwaukee Ballet School. I made the difficult decision at age 17 to pursue academic studies instead of a career in the arts. I continued my studies at the University of Arizona though - home to a truly spectacular dance program.

I made it about halfway to a minor in ballet when I made the even more difficult decision to "retire." I didn't see a future for myself anywhere in the dance world, I was already struggling to keep up with being a full-time academic student and working. But overall, I was frustrated. I quit taking formal class when it became too painful and simply too overall taxing. I thought it was because I'd gone from training about 40 hours a week to only 20 or less. I would learn over 20 years later that wasn't it at all.

Although I stopped taking formal classes, thankfully I never stopped dancing entirely. I'm a

2014 end of 17-year hiatus from ballet class.

lifelong dancer and athlete, although it took me decades to claim the title "athlete." I love all the things - running, biking, paddling, climbing - but my life changed when I became a skydiver in 2014. That brought me back to ballet in a big way because I discovered I could dance in the sky! And my passion (Obsession?) for "sky ballet" was born. This led me back to ballet class after a 17-year absence. It was awesome!! I noticed my feet wouldn't work right though, especially my left one, and I was struggling with small, quick transitional steps that should've been effortless. But that was probably just age, right...? And Lack of training? It wasn't.

I'd struggled with a curious illness since I was young that I'd named "Lauritis" for lack of a better explanation for my weird episodes. ("Lolaitis" simply doesn't sound as good. Hee, hee.) Then suddenly, in 2015, "Lauritis" seemed to be stealing my life away entirely. Doctors thought I had MS at first. I don't. They couldn't find solid explanations, so I was diagnosed with some likely conditions and turned loose to get lost in the healthcare system. For years.

I started relying on ballet even more to help combat the stress, pain, and other physical symptoms. I saw a physiatrist who encouraged me to use ballet to heal. She explained that I was like a kid who'd come in from playing outside covered all over in mud and bleeding. It would be impossible to tell where the bleeding was coming from until we cleaned up the mud. She advised me to teach myself ballet as if I was teaching it to my 100-year-old frail self. I did. And it worked! Ballet was helping me "clean up the mud."

I made good progress. At the start of 2018 I even returned to attending ballet class regularly for the first time since college. Luckily (Ha!) I fainted in ballet class 3 months later, leading a specialist to refuse performing a procedure until I saw a cardiologist. Note, I'd been asking to see a cardiologist for years but had been promptly dismissed every time as "too young" and likely a hysterical hypochondriac.

In August 2018, I was finally diagnosed with hypermobility Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS), hyperadrenergic postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (H-POTS), and small fiber neuropathy (SFN) on top of the slew of comorbidities I'd already racked up: Hashimoto's, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, Barrett's esophagus, arthritis, atypical migraines, MTHFR mutations, and the list goes on. FINALLY! At age 40!! Now I could start to learn how to manage my health & start to heal.

It's now been over 2 years since diagnosis, and it's been hard. Healing, of course, is an endless journey, & I simply detest many of the stops along the way. I know all too many of you can relate. Ballet has always been there for me in some form, even if all I could do is watch. (Side-note: my H-POTS was horribly triggered in February watching the Bolshoi perform "Swan Lake" via livestream. Ha, ha! Totally worth it. Two thumbs up. 5 stars. Highly recommended.)

"Doing ballet for good" means enjoying the art of ballet however I'm able for as long as I'm able and with gratitude. I'm still working to remove judgment and process the grief for what I've lost due to chronic pain and chronic illness. Oh, and the anger. There's plenty of that too. But ballet has become my anchor of stability. It's my best physical therapy. It's my best mental therapy. It's my best soul therapy. It's been said that the pleasure signal travels faster than pain in our nervous systems. Ballet tells me that's absolutely true. (I have yet to do extensive research on this.) Ballet saved me on days I was too ill and/or in too much pain to dance in the sky. Ballet may be my salvation to bring me back to the sky too. Or it may help me mourn the loss of my flying superpower, if need be. But if that's the case, I still want to continue to use ballet to help other athletes. It's fantastic cross training!

I can't dance the way I used to or want to,

and I can't dance at all plenty of times. I'm well aware that I may need to adapt my dancing even more significantly over time, in addition to the normal aging process. I'm already getting pretty good at seated ballet, and I can't wait to help others in this way. The point(e) is that I'm still dancing. (Sorry. I couldn't resist the pun.) I sincerely think careful ballet is the reason I'm as high functioning as I am despite the many illnesses weighing me down. I believe in the power of restorative & therapeutic ballet so much, I'm making it part of my life's work via Blue Sky Ballet.

I've dedicated most of my professional life to nonprofit law and policy work, which is why Blue Sky Ballet also supports important social justice causes. More about that another time though. It's AWESOME! I'm so excited to raise some money for good while doing ballet for good!!

I'm not sure where this journey will lead me, but hopefully this is a 50-year endeavor of #DoingBalletForGood, learning, and helping as many people as possible along the way.